1. |
Nerds are Sexy
03:31
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You've got a pristine set, of figurines of Boba Fett
You're the biggest fan in the universe
With your long lightsaber, I'll be your slave Leia
And unlike Han you never shoot first
Nerds, nerds, nerds are sexy
Your numbers are tight, you can roleplay all night
This dungeon’s gonna get messy
Slay an army of trolls with your critical rolls
Alignment: lawful sexy
Nerds, nerds, nerds are sexy
Set phasers to fun, speak fluent Klingon
You're quite the cunning linguist
Broke the prime directive, with the borg collective, well
Assimilate me with your kiss
Nerds, nerds, nerds are sexy
Because they care about the little things
They memorise the little things
They investigate the little things
And, well, I’ve got a little thing
We can do a little thing
With your little thing
Oh, wait... it’s not little. If anything it’s above average
Please stop crying
Nerds, nerds, nerds are sexy
Because nerds love unashamedly
Nerds love things exclusively
And what’s more exciting than passion
And if pleasing me’s what you do methodically
I can’t wait to see a nerd in action
W my A and I’ll S your D
You can hit me with your no-scope-headshot
You don’t need a manual to learn my combos
Oh no, all you have to do is press:
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
Finish me!
‘Cause nerds are Sexy!
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2. |
Go to Sleep
05:01
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Shhhhh
Go to sleep, go to sleep
Pretty stranger, it’s 3am, the night is done
Go to sleep, please go to sleep
It was nice to meet you, this was fun
We danced all night but here’s the sun
In the battle of stamina you’ve won
You’re wide awake but I am almost dead
Will you go to sleep if i give you head?
Shhhh
Please be quiet, put that away
I don’t think that’s what socialism means
Please be quiet, I have neighbours
You can’t base your whole argument on memes
If I just rest my eyes will your heart sink?
If I ask you to leave now will you cause a stink?
We were grinding on the dancefloor getting close
And we wanted to take off each other’s clothes
And then we took an Uber back to mine
But while talking in the back I changed my mind
So now I sit here plying you with goon
Thinking how to get you out my room
Go to sleep, go to sleep
So even though it makes you feel quite cheap
If I fuck you will you finally go to sleep?
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3. |
Sex is Funny
04:00
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Things are getting steamy
You moan and sigh beneath me
We’re rubbing all my favourite body parts
I’m trying not to shout
Bent over your mum’s couch
Then I let out a noisey fanny fart
So, this one time, I was having sex with this girl, and she made me cum so hard I shat on her
Silly noises in the night
I want to laugh out my delight
I want to fuck you fearlessly
But you look at me so seriously
I want to get you off but, honey
Why can’t you admit that sex is funny
We’re a moaning writhing stack
In the rear of your hatchback
The tiny seats ensure your cock looks massive
But your dick slipped to the side
Couldn’t get you back inside
And i’m worried that my laughter’s made you flaccid
This one time I was having sex and right at the end I managed to jizz on my own face
Rose petals on the sheets
Marvin Gaye is on repeat
I want to fuck you fearlessly
But you look at me so seriously
I want to get you off but, honey
Why can’t you admit that sex is funny
Why is it your mission
To try fifteen positions
Blood rushing to my brain and I can’t breathe
Your shirt’s stuck on your head
We’ve fallen on the bed
And then we have to deal with skinny jeans
Pant-removingly awesome solo
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to play a part
Everything will be alright
We can laugh and fuck all night
Silly noises in the night
I want to laugh out my delight
Everything will be alright
We can laugh and fuck all night
I want to get you off but, honey
First please admit that sex is funny
Sex is funny
Sex is funny
Sex is funny
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4. |
||||
How
do
I
know
if
you
like
me
?
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5. |
Don't Gym, Tequila
03:15
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Wake in the morning, drink some water have a pee
Looking in the mirror, sizing everything I see
Where’s the sex appeal in looking like teletubbies?
If I hit the gym how much more beautiful I’d be
Happiness is the result of counting calories
Could there be a simpler way to be who I wanna be?
TEQUILA!
Let’s weigh the pros and cons of options A and B
Even after workouts I feel like Steve Buscemi
But I feel like a Hemsworth when I’ve had a beer or three
I have a choice of how to find my confidence
I could hit the gym or hit the club the answer’s common sense
Don’t gym, tequila. Don’t gym, tequila. Don’t gym, tequila. Don’t gym: TEQUILA!
Because, you know, it goes the other way too, right? The more you go to the gym, the more you just end up seeing everybody else around you as, like, fat and lazy and slobbish and unable to take care of themselves at the most basic of levels but... But, if you have one shot of tequila, everyone else looks great.
Living large is living fine, I’m better in 3D
Let’s all have a round of shots and then you should call me
How about you me and him have a menage-a-three?
I have a choice of how to find my confidence
I could hit the gym or hit the pub the answer’s common sense
Don’t gym, tequila. Don’t gym, tequila. Don’t gym, tequila. Don’t gym: TEQUILA!
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6. |
This Whole City
03:39
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She landed at my party like a swan into a lake
And the way she lit the dancefloor up was more than I could take
Then she led me to a corner
Where we both could be alone
And when her lips touched mine
I got the most impressive bone
And then we went and made love
Like two animals in heat
We moaned that night so loudly
They must have heard us up the street
And our pornstar performance
Was at least 6 hours long
But when I woke up the next morning she was gone
And she is everything I need
She is everything I think of from now on
And I will hunt through this whole city if I need
But she’s gone, my lady is gone
I didn’t get her number
And she didn’t leave a note
And none of my friends knew her
When I told my anecdote
And, of course, it didn’t help things
That I had forgot her name
But I promise you I’ll find my missing mistress just the same
‘Cause she is everything I need
She is everything I search for from now on
And I will hunt through this whole city if I need
But she’s gone, my lady is gone
Now I know I won’t recognise her face amongst a crowd
And I know it sounds a bit strange when I say it out aloud
But her pussy fits my penis like a hand fits in a glove
So I’ll fuck every girl I meet until I find my love
‘Cause she is everything I need
She’s the reason I use Tinder from now on
And I will fuck through this whole city if I need
But she’s gone
I’m searching pubs, clubs, cafes and restaurants. I’m searching universities and retirement homes. I’m searching everywhere except Dandenong. I’m knocking on doors, so answer in your underwear. I’m sending letters and emails, so prepare your inbox! Women of Australia get ready, because I’m coming. I’m coming!
And she is everything i need
She’s the reason I make albums from now on
And I will fuck through this whole city if I need
But she’s gone
My pussy is gone
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7. |
Fun Things
02:57
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Hope you strangers enjoyed our show
We’re the ones who’ve done it all, you know
Standing up or on my back
I’m a diagnosed nymphomaniac
And I’m living, and I’m living, and I’m living the dream
I’ve had threesomes, had sex in swings
I’ve done all the fun things
Fucked in hot tubs, swapped some nudes
Fucked at weddings using finger foods
I’ve been a fireman, I’ve been a nurse
I’ve fucked in planes, boats, trains and a hearse
And I’m living, and I’m living, and I’m living the dream
I’ve had threesomes, had sex in swings
I’ve done all the fun things
I’ve made home films, I’ve broken springs
I’ve done all the fun things
Mind-Melting Solo of Awesomeness
I’ve been pegged, I’ve been tied up
I’ve re-enacted two girls and one cup
Clocked karma sutra, I’ve played with piss
I rimmed a cop in my psychiatrist’s office
And I’m living, and I’m living, and I’m living the dream
I’ve had threesomes, had sex in swings
I’ve done all the fun things
I’ve made home films, I’ve worn cockrings
I’ve done all the fun things
Done 50 Shades ‘till my arse stings
I’ve done all the fun things
So I could reach: removed two ribs
I’ve done all the fun things
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PickUp Melbourne, Australia
PickUp is Alia Vryens and Colin Craig, singing funny rock songs about sex and dating with a feminist bent.
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